Do you like how I made this big deal about starting to blog again and then barely blogged ever since? I've had good reason.

Our beloved english bulldog, Meatball, passed away unexpectedly in late August.

I've never given birth. I don't know what it's like to change diapers, stay up at all hours of the night soothing a crying baby, teaching them how to walk and speak their first words.

I do, however, know what it's like to be a mother. Meaty was my baby.

I know what it's like to feel love like a mom. The first time I laid eyes on Meaty I decided it was my purpose to take care of this little creature. To clean up slobber & bulldog vomit. To find little dog hairs in everything I own. Feed him better than we feed ourselves. To deal with it when he damn near singed my nose hairs with his farts. Shower him with toys, love and affection. There was absolutely nothing in this world I wouldn't do for him. No matter what I did in life, my adventures, opportunities & successes - nothing quite compared to seeing his handsome face when I got home and cuddling with the cuddlemaster himself.

Meatball was amazing. I know every owner says this about their pet but he seriously was the most handsome dog on planet Earth. He had facial expressions and personality like you wouldn't believe! And for a bulldog, he was so athletic - energetic and full of life.

Now I can say that I know the true depths of loss. Of pain. Of anguish. Of heartache. In my lowest moments I can't understand how life could possibly be so unfair. Why did you take my baby from me? Why?

Then I remember how much sheer joy, love and happiness Meaty brought into our lives - mine, my boyfriend's, our family and friends, even random people we'd see on the street during our walks. People would stop and take pictures with the little guy! I tell myself that these are the memories I need to hold on to. Not of losing him. He was the most incredible dog, pet, companion, friend, SON and he meant - means - the world to me. Like the craziest of hurricanes, he came into our lives and out with a bang, leaving behind pawprints in many people's hearts.

We started a PAWS fund in Meaty's name, and I now have his name tattooed on my left wrist - close to my heart and where I can see him all the time. I love you Meaty. Thank you so much for blessing us with your presence for a little while. You're my angel now. Keep heaven on their toes my crazy baby :)

xoxo

Jess