Reflections on 33.
In my first Holiday Council, my friend Molly Mahar introduced a framework she likes to call "the cycle of years." While life isn't linear, there are four parts of this cycle that we find ourselves at any given time. I think about this often.
This morning, on the first day of my 33rd year, I'm reflecting on which year I'm evolving from, and which I'm headed into.
My constant struggle is in comparing myself to my past. When you are your own competition and also your worst critic, that's always damaging and never productive.
I work hard to think differently - to accept who I currently am, no matter what. The key is always in finding gratitude in the little moments and routines of every day life just as much as I find them in big, shiny life moments.
On days like this, I am reminded of just how much love I'm surrounded by. How could I not be grateful for this life?
The people I love have taught me all that I know - working and walking in each moment with purpose, intention and grace.
I've worked hard this year and last to stay in my lane and focus on my priorities. It's crazy to reflect back on things that were important to you before that pale in comparison to all the light in your life now. Whenever I fall in the black hole of scrolling through social media and the slightest pang of comparison hits me, I remind myself of my goals. Those goals usually don't involve anything I'm seeing other people do on the internet.
- I want to constantly simplify, and only spend time on people and things that are important to me.
- I want to keep it real - I don't want a perfectly manicured Instagram feed, I want people to see my life as it truly is.
- I want to be fit and healthy.
- I want to read voraciously.
- I want to travel.
- I want a fly ass wedding that truly represents the two of us.
- I want to spend thoughtfully. The amount of shopping and clothes I've cut out of my life has done wonders for closet space and my budget! Mostly, I'm amazed at all the things I'd rather be spending my time on now.
If you would've told me a year ago that I'd be so into CrossFit, I probably would've laughed & rolled my eyes. It wasn't until I learned the hard lesson of a trainer and community that no longer served me that I found the courage to try CrossFit. Now, I wish that CF was what I'd been doing these past few years! I'm challenged every time, and surrounded by athletic beasts who inspire me to push through 'til the end. No matter how much dread and anxiety fills me before CrossFit, I truly never regret the workout and am often amazed at what I was able to accomplish in the hour. Working past your mental limits is half the battle!
If these past couple of years have been full of destruction (of what no longer served me) and of growth, I have every reason to believe that 33 will be a year of mastery on all levels. I'm ready for it.
All photos by Sarah Lovrien at Fox and the Feather Seattle. Wearing Dolce Vita 'Jasper' booties.